Cold and Beautiful ( December 26, 2012 )

And just as December freezes the breeze,
And showers the warm earth with drops of cold molten salt..
I will look into your eyes and embrace the edge of emptiness.
I will taste your tears, and miss your lips.
I will blow stone kisses and wish on a hollow sky..
And just as December bestows the most beautiful promises of fondness,
I will burst into pieces, and mend into crystal.

Third Christmas ( December 25, 2012 )

I have another Christmas wish.. Besides healing, I would like to ask for more patience, and more love for the gift of motherhood...

Today, Euwy and I are celebrating our 3rd Christmas together, and I'm forever in awe and gratitude to heavens who gave me the best christmas gift ever three years ago. I just wish things were easier for Euwy..and me, so I can function better as a mother. Merry Christmas little boy! Happy birthday Jesus!

A Night Before Christmas ( December 24, 2012 )

After a bottle of red, and maybe five bottles of beer, I sink into the Christmas eve fever. I tried very, very hard, to find peace in my nothingness, and to hope for a possible happiness. Merry Christmas eve to my bleeding heart. Please heal real soon. Maybe tomorrow..

Ruins ( December 23, 2012 )

It's been a year, exactly, today when I found out the ugliest truth of my life. Yes, two days before Christmas, you broke the silence and my exhausted heart. I still couldn't believe how you were able to destroy the love I thought we were both fighting for. I don't want to have to spend another Christmas, crying in between the merry making, the laughter and the sharing of gifts, having only one wish in my heart..that I will heal soon.

The Gift of Time ( December 22, 2012 )

Time is of the essence so they say. While we have it, it seems abundant. When we don't, we wish to get all the lost back. It ends. It expires. It vanishes like any breath of life. And we can never, ever have it again. It is lost, and only imagined.

Today, I got a gift- a watch. I asked why. "You need more time", you said. I guess the only moment we can say it's never too late for us is when the clock stops ticking, time going off...the world not turning.

The Guy from Grade School ( December 21, 2012 )

He was a bully back in grade school. We didn't have any communication in high school or college. When I was working and was already in a relationship, he tried to court me. I didn't like him so I said it's not going to work out. After almost four years, we're back to saying hello to one another. Now, I don't want to be wrong, or to hurry too much. I'm just lonely and he's trying to be sweet..

If Tomorrow is the End ( December 20, 2012 )

I'm not a believer of the Mayan calendar, or Nostradamus's predictions, but tonight, I am feeling the urge to entertain the thought of the world ending tomorrow. Everyone has been talking about it, and for a long time I haven't really thought about it, until tonight. Before my baby came to my life, I wasn't so afraid to die. Now he's the reason I am living and the source of my fear for death and endings. But what if the end of the world is really tomorrow? What will I do? I look at my little boy playing so joyfully, smiling peacefully, a creature of pure beauty.. Then I shut the thought of endings and think of the life I'd love to spend with my son in more tomorrows.

Booziefied ( December 19, 2012 )

As expected, with my head bouncing in endless thoughts, my feet on the cold floor and my belly being filled with booze, I did what I've been so good at- I escape.

It's Okay... Not! ( December 18, 2012 )

Again, I am but uncertain, and clueless as to what phase I'm in. It's been a space shuttle ride- crazy fast, upside-down, head-banging and wit-vanishing. I no longer weep at night. I smile at myself sometimes. I'd like to think I'm fine. I'd like to believe it's okay. But at the end of every light, every whisper of goodnight and the far promise of tomorrow's sight, I know, and I feel that it's not Okay..

Vanilla Twilight ( December 17, 2012 )

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here

***
I didn't know the song until you asked me to listen to it. You said it's how you feel, and that it's for me. After listening to the song, I felt the same. You are right. But we are wrong..

Refreshed ( December 16, 2012 )

Yesterday was certainly a refreshing day, out of the ordinary and rewarding.

First, I got reunited with my dear friends, talked, laughed, reminisced and shared our current drama and lessons learned. Old friendship refreshed is like wearing an old favorite dress, feeling relieved it still fits, perfectly.

Second, I was refreshed of reason. I am beginning to understand why things happened. And why it is really time that I learn.

Third, I was refreshed of my motherly responsibilities. I couldn't stand listening to my son who's crying crazy over the phone because I wasn't around. I was worried, and my parents kept on igniting the tension. I didn't enjoy myself completely during the wedding. I wanted to go home badly but I was miles away.

Finally, I was refreshed of hope. I just wish it was more solid, safer and more agreeable.

3 in 1 ( December 15, 2012 )

In just one day, three big things took me by surprise, and oh, well, horror and madness.

First, I've loosened up, gone crazy and tried to ignore it really happened. No one knows, anyway.

Second, I attended a beach wedding for the first time and was blown away by the love and beauty of the day and the couple. I still dream of a lovely wedding, and of course, a promise of true love.

Third, just like the grand and unforgettable days in college, I was scolded and mentally tortured by my parents all because they had to babysit for my son while I was away to attend that wedding. And it goes on, and on and right now, all I can do is understand, or at least try.

One Hour, or Less ( December 14, 2012 )

Tomorrow, I have an hour or less to free myself from the shackles of sanity, and to try to listen to the echoes of my tattered heart... You have to be there. You have to wait.. even if I'm not going to be there, even if it's never going to be easy..

The Big Why ( December 13, 2012 )

Just before midnight, I started watching "The Perks of being a Wallflower." Truly, it was humorous and heart-breaking at the same time. I smiled, laughed and cried for the most part. I remembered high school, and how I studied very much and enjoyed so little. Also, early in the movie, one of my biggest questions in life was answered briefly, and truthfully. The boy asked his professor why do nice people end up with the people who doesn't treat them right. The professor said, "We accept the love we think we deserve..". Then I realized more how much I settled, and just how I further do so. I have to think, and know, and believe that I deserve MORE.

Harmless Fun on 12.12.12 ( December 12, 2012 )

Last night, my parents were kind enough to share some booze. And I was insane enough to use it as an excuse to free the ferocious. I had fun, and it was sweet and safe. I played with three different flames, and didn't get burnt. The world must really be ending. I'm starting to breathe the fearless air. I'm beginning to sink, and my hang-over has never been this unkind and sincere.

Good Out Of Bad ( December 11, 2012 )

When you are depressed, stressed and feeling lonely and incapable, you tend to remember the person you care, or cared about, no matter how far he is or how much he broke you. And ironically, you skip the ugly details and linger on the beautiful ones. Somehow you know your limit. Somehow you feel the need to keep the balance. Instead of further wrecking your thoughts with bitter memories, you hold on to the blissful parts of the past because somehow it's a better place, than where you are right now... And it's good, and bad, at the same time.

A Test of Fire ( December 10, 2012 )

No I ain't gonna tell my best friend, not anyone, not now.. Not until I've finally outgrown and outrun this mad phase. I have to get out of this alive. And I have to do this on my own.

The Mighty Falls ( December 9, 2012 )

Today, a very sad and unfortunate event brought a lesson of all time. Philippines' greatest boxer, a world-class sports man and the highly respected and admired People's Champ has fallen. He was at his peak, all might and glory and was indestructible and phenomenal, but just like any ordinary man, he fought and he failed. And what makes him more human is his humility, his acceptance of a defeat deemed unbelievable by many. Like him, we rise, we fall and we crumble all hell to rise again.

The "T" Word ( December 8, 2012 )

I say the word "tired" maybe more than ten times a day, and the digit doubles when I'm extremely pissed or extra-stressed and hyper-depressed. Very unfortunate and most often, my son hears me say it. Sometimes, he gives me this all-knowing look and it's too late for me shift mood, or expression. So last night I made a promise to my son, and myself. I promised to lessen the use of the "T" word and to devote more time and patience raising my very active son. Because the more I say the phrase "I'm tired!", the more I feel it.

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire ( December 7, 2012 )

I have a very, very strong feeling that my father is, still, cheating on my mother. And I have very, very little tolerance for lying, scheming men. Yes, he's been a truly responsible man of our house, but an ungrateful and disloyal husband. And I feel deep pity and sadness for my mom.

My father woke me up maybe around three in the morning. He got drunk last night, and when he woke up, he realized he didn't have his mobile phone. He came to me to accuse me of hiding the phone, for mom and I was like struggling to get up, raving mad and ready to explode. He's definitely got something on that phone, and he even thought I'd sneak it to spy for mom. He's gone crazy.

This morning, the very minute my dad saw me, he apologized. He said he found the phone and that I need not to mention it to mom. What a coward? My suspicions are ever growing. And if this happens again, I am talking.

Queen of Panic ( December 6, 2012 )

Around 12:30am, as I was just starting to watch Spartacus, I heard my son cried and saw him scratching his stomach, face and armpit. I opened the light and was shocked to see red patches on his stomach, huge and embossed. They looked like ant bites. On his face and armpits were little red patches, too. In a wisp, the queen of panic rises once again. I felt my voice shaking as I try to awaken my boy. My eyes were teary and my chest pounding crazy. I held my boy and ran to my parents' house. I knocked hysterically on the door as my son cried even more. When my mom saw me, she tried to calm me down. She said it's alright and that we still have anti-histamine in the fridge in case it's an allergic reaction. Then she helped me give my son the medication. After that, we went home and it took about twenty more minutes before he's back to slumber. All I did was panic, and pray.

In the morning, mom went to our room, and bombarded me with lessons on calmness, grace and motherhood perils. Maybe next time I won't panic anymore. Just maybe..

Near or Far ( December 5, 2012 )

Last night as I gulped booze right off my favorite bottle, I felt depression tapping on my eager door of self-mutilation, again. I know I've had enough, quite a lot, actually. But I seemed to never run out of precious drama to deal and associate with. Then I got a text message from my best friend. I smiled, and laughed, and for a while, I felt insanely happy and solid. Oh, I miss them more- my crazy friends. Although I've been away from most of my friends for too long, they simply know when and how to get me up from my sunken thoughts. Thank you!

Light and Easy ( December 4, 2012 )

The day hasn't ended yet but I can say that it has been kind and gentle to me. My little boy, although very, very playful, has not thrown any crazy tantrum, so far. I've had good food. I got to watch my favorite show this afternoon. I'm done with my laundry, and I was able to finish my gift-wrapping duties for myself, and my sister. My heart kinda feels lighter. My mind is getting some peace. Maybe it's the magical Christmas breeze.

That Day ( December 3, 2012 )

In twenty days, it will be exactly one year since I found out you were cheating on me. I would never forget. That very ordinary day you accidentally sent a text message that was supposedly for her. It was the day I stopped trusting you. It was the very first time I ever doubted your love. It's almost a year now, and I'm still wondering where I am. That day that changed me. That day I couldn't change.

Last night, I wept carelessly. I remembered that day, all the pain I felt, the tears I couldn't shed, the gutless defeat, the silent screaming of my pride, and my heart so unwilling to beat. When I got weary of all the hysterical crying, I stopped and pictured myself moving on. That day will happen too. And it won't be so horrible to remember.

Fever-Free Sunday! ( December 2, 2012 )

Finally, I can now sleep with ease, and less drama. Thank you Lord for making my son well again. I take his every recovery and renewed strength Your miracles. My son is getting better, and so my life in general. It's December and I haven't shopped enough. So tomorrow, I'll hopefully check more names on my Christmas list and help my sister's list get started too. Tomorrow should be fun!

Fever and Decembers ( December 1, 2012 )

Stressed. Depressed. Exhausted. Dizzy. Ever Crazy. And I don't know why the first day of my favorite month won't cooperate. My son is still feverish and my baby sitter just decided to leave after two days of working for me. Really? Can this day get any worse?! December be nice. I mean no drama. I just want a little fun, and a lot of moving on.

Changes. Changes.. ( November 30, 2012 )

A little before 4am, before my sister left, she kissed my son goodbye. When I saw her, I asked for a kiss too and said my farewell and take care. At 6:30am, I heard my little boy crying and found out he's burning with fever. This is going to be a tough day.

Today is also the birthday of my son's father and because he has fever, the plan to meet him up was cancelled. Maybe it's really not meant to be. I'm just not certain if he understood or even believed. I really don't care.

And the biggest change today is my helper's first day. Today we officially started training, and it's a looong day.

She's The One ( November 29, 2012 )

Today, I met my baby sitter-to-be. She's from Albay, seventeen years of age and just quit her job the other day. I am hoping she is the one, and I hope it's going to be a good start tomorrow. I've never had a helper before, but certainly this is going to be a tough relationship to handle, and I am more than willing to try and make work.

Very early tomorrow, my sister will fly back to Singapore and so the nightly drunken and happy moments shall end in dear goodbye, again. Tomorrow is really, another day and I hope we all get through it.

Best Shared ( November 28, 2012 )

Tonight, my sister went out to have fun with her friends. She told my parents she'll be home by 11pm. She told me she'll be home at 12am and that I had to wait for her so we can still drink together. I believed in her. I waited, and worried and remembered my own days- times I would lie and just tell my parents I'm on my way home when I'm happily steady and drinking. History is really coming right at me, I smiled to myself.

My sister got home at 1:30am. And yes, I'm worried and kinda mad. But I didn't want to ruin our night. That's my parents' job anyway. So we drank and laughed, and shared our stories. Yes, I can and I love drinking and watching alone. But the bottles, and the stories, the love and the laughter, is truly best shared..with no other than my person, my sister :)

Drunken Day Two ( November 27, 2012 )

I really hope every day is a happy drunken day. I've wasted too many booze on bitter remembering and witless drama. I'm so glad my sister is back - my person and my source of dear sanity. So we had two bottles of Mojito and some beer to recap the night. Tomorrow night, we get drunk again and say good bye the next. I wish tomorrow night's endless.

Welcome Home Sister! ( November 26, 2012 )

With two bottles of Martini, overflowing beer, great food, funny stories, much love and longing, we felt home once again as we welcome my dear sister back. There's really no place like home, and family. :)

Shop and Drop ( November 25, 2012 )

This is really the best time to shop. Because we don't buy for ourselves. We buy gifts for the people we love. After the long walks, the budgeting, the endless checking of lists, the moments of choosing, trying to imagine if the item will bring happiness to the receiver, comes fulfillment and empty pockets. Oh yes, I'm broke but I'm happy, baby..yeah! Merry Christmas everyone!

EKstatic with Magic ( November 24, 2012 )

Today, with the sun up, the crowd outpouring, the excitement and energy all fired up, we entered the magical kingdom of the wizard in purple. And although we spent most of our time waiting in the line, sweating and feeling hungry and thirsty, we survived and ended the day with the great feel of fun and love. Today is another day I am thankful for crazy old friends, and for the magic we still share with one another, and with our families. Let's get together again real soon!

Dead Lines ( November 23, 2012 )

"by the end of the year, i'm over you.before that time, u know where to find me....im not quiting...i got no choice, it's for you to fight for me..if u love me, fight for me...if u can't..u'l lose me...i'm done waiting..."

This message woke me up today, and sent my bones to shiver and my flesh to burn in fury. You really have an uncanny gift. How do you do this and still come out alive? Why do you always make it seem like I was the one who never fought our battle when you are the one who left me bleeding some where?!

So I replied, "Wow.I admire your courage and how you know exactly when to move on.but u know what you're so good at? at giving deadlines and not doing your part! I've lost u a long time ago!I don't care where you go or if you're no longer waiting!I am so done too! you are hopeless and worthless and you don't deserve us.. You wasted all the chances you have by just waiting for me to fight for u when u can't even fight for me.fuck off and I hope this year ends soon so I won't have to put up with your shit anymore!"

The bridges are all burnt. The mad hoping is all gone. The crazy wishing has come to a full-stop. I am no longer settling. You are not my happy ending.

Fun Days! ( November 22, 2012 )

On Saturday I will be reuniting with my good old buddies from my very first job which lasted five long, struggling and happy years. Some I haven't seen in the last three or four years. We will be spending a fun-filled day in an Enchanted place, and will be catching up- old laughter  funny memories, crazy dramas and the new us. I really hope it doesn't rain.. And of course, that everyone will be there.

On Monday  after lunch, we will pick up my sister from the airport and I am just so thrilled! After the four longest months of her life, having the chance to come back home is the best Christmas gift she, and all of us can get. See you super soon sister! We love you so!

A Smile for a Thought ( November 21, 2012 )

Last night an old "friend" sent me this and made me smile :

"Somehow it adds up
That the way it should be
Isn't the way it is
When the weight collapses
And it traps us inside
The only thing that matters
Is the way you'll look
At my eyes."

I don't exactly understand what he meant, I just know he cared enough to bring me a good smile. So thank you!

Right vs Easy ( November 20, 2012 )

Yes, most of the times I know what's right, what needs to be done and what's appropriate and rational. But oftentimes, I go for easy. I go for what I think I want, and settle for what I think I deserve. I usually end up wrong, and lost, and never learning. I'm tired of going for easy, and keeping a losing streak. So this time I'm trying to go for what's right, and hope I am right.

Beautiful Monday ( November 19, 2012 )

Although I am quite uncomfortable with a few zit growing on my face showing evidence of stress and many sleepless nights, I must say this has been a beautiful day. I got to watch the latest episode of my current favorite tv series. I tested my new lip tint and was very, very satisfied. I did grocery and ate a good deal of snack. My little boy just kissed me out of the blue, and I couldn't be any happier. Thank You Lord for this day. More beautiful and happier days ahead!

Sober Up ( November 18, 2012 )

"Are you still awake?"

"Yes. If you're drunk, or drinking, please do not call or text me back."

"I just miss you. That's all.."

"You miss me tonight? I miss you everyday, and I let you know even if I'm sober. You really have a knack of seeking courage from spirited bottles.. You haven't changed a bit."

Then we hurt each other with more words, until I stop replying. I know I've said it so many times, but this time, you are pushing me more, hurting me no less and I am really done. I am not waiting for you to sober up. Be man enough for yourself. You can't be my man. I am DONE.

Over-thinking ( November 17, 2012 )

I know very well what over-thinking brings : sleepless nights, stranger, more lunatic days, restless mind, twisted, sharpened memory, accepted melancholy, false hopes, ugly stress, inconvenient drunkenness and total discomfort. So last night, I traded my daily over-thinking with an earlier-than-usual good night sleep. That's why this morning I woke up rejuvenated and all-giddy.. I really hope I stay like this forever... Oh, yes, there's no such thing as forever. I was just hoping..again.

See-saw ( November 16, 2012 )

Very obvious, and quite a history repeating itself, my fitful process of moving on and letting go is like a see-saw. One day ( sometimes five consecutive days, if I'm so fortunately occupied ), I'm all-bright and sun-shiny, ready to breathe a new air of hope and change without you, and then the next, I'm swimming and growling in a sea of darkness and unwavering pain so willing to be saved by you, AGAIN. Why don't I ever get tired? I go up, and hit the ground, and it's no longer fun. I have to stop playing...

Something Good ( November 15, 2012 )

God is really good. Something good is going to happen. Someone is coming back, and I'm like a little girl starting to open my Christmas present, so eagerly tearing the golden wrap, overly thrilled because it has the shape of a barbie doll's box. I've never been this excited in a long time. This will definitely make my days brighter, hoping, expecting and knowing I'll be happy so soon. The countdown officially starts today so she said. I'll see you in 10 days my person. I miss you so so much sister!

Wakey, Wakey ( November 14, 2012 )

To one of my dearest friends, the most sarcastic, skillful mind-reader and blog stalker, very charming and harsh, the ever-dependable counselor and feisty preacher, my very own ambassador of ill will and heavy-duty drama, thank you! Good job! You woke me up just in time. I only had a strand of brittle hair knotted to the edge of my sanity, and you managed to lift me up. I don't know how you do it, and how you've done it today with such brilliance, speed and precision. I am forever in awe. I'll never be able to thank you enough. You certainly saved the day, and hopefully more tomorrows. Thank you for the fire, and friendship. You know who you are. And please refrain from reading, too much. I love you :)

CraziER ( November 13, 2012 )

By default, I am already crazy. Tonight, I want to go crazier. I want to believe in you. I'll try very hard to. I will imagine good things. I will look at the future with your hands holding mine. I will live darkly in our dreams, and make wishes like they can really happen. Tonight, I won't ask for you to let me go. I'd beg for you hold me tighter, love me more and to forget the ugly past. I will give you courage. I will make you brave. I will forgive you. I will love you like this is my first time to go crazy. I will..tonight.

The Voice of Weakness ( November 12, 2012 )

Just halfway through my drinking sprint, and I successfully found the inevitable courage to text you, again. This time, it's not a drunken message. I was still sober, and very much aware, and brave, or just expecting. I wanted so much to hear your voice. I didn't think of the risk. I just knew and felt I had to hear from you. I waited, and finally my phone rang. I listened. I just did, until you hang up. Next thing I knew, you were calling again and I was picking up. We talked, and you said you love me, several times. I cried silently. And I wished I didn't make you hang up again. I love you too.

Teary Recall ( November 11, 2012 )

Last night, I went old school, listened to the radio and some good old songs on my ipod, and burst into tears like a little girl who lost her doll. I reminisced, on purpose. I wanted to remember you, and I, and how happy we were. I was smiling, and sobbing and it was so hard to breathe. I remembered the first day, the first date, the first gift, the first kiss and how all those firsts made me feel like a woman, again. I recollected blissful thoughts and was able to veer away from pain for a few minutes. I began to realize how much I love you then, and how I've been so still in love today. So I wept some more, and when I managed to breathe again, I felt the pain coming back. And I wished the tears never stopped.

Greater Responsibilities ( November 10, 2012 )

Being responsible for someone else's life is probably the greatest responsibility there is. That's what I believe and know now. Back in the days when I wasn't a parent yet, I would, most of the times, feel like my responsibilities as an adult were dancing so heavily on my shoulders. I hated having to wake up because I had to work, even if I was feeling lazy or beaten by a hang-over. There were countless days I'd drag myself to work, feeling like I was being punished for the little fun I had on my rest days. Paying bills was more like an endless burden rather than a successful struggle for survival and independence. I always felt sleepless, stressed, spent and mistaken. I used to think that whatever I do, I'd never be responsible enough for myself. Everything was just too much to take, and expectations were never met. Today, my experience are my thoughts, and surprisingly, I say life was so much easier back then.

Hello there motherhood, pleased to meet you single parenthood. I have now fully devoted my time, and energy and all that I am for the love of another life, and there's absolutely no backing out. Every day seems like my first time to become a mother. Every day is a surprise, and a shock. I never thought that the responsibilities I had before will grow a thousand fold today. And this time, it's tougher, crazier, more exhausting, stressful, draining, outpouring..and MORE meaningful. I've never been rewarded so abundantly until I saw the smile of my little man after I feed him, wash him or while we're playing, and the serenity spreading across his face when he sleeps. Yes, I've been definitely called to a greater responsibility and it just keeps on getting harder each day, but I am also provided a greater form of reward- the love I feel for my child, and the love he pours me. Thank You Lord!

I miss you, I love you ( November 9, 2012 )

"I miss you", "I love you" - words that go throbbing, painful and restless, when unuttered, undelivered. I couldn't stand my itching fingers, and the wild thumping on my chest. I had to say it. I had to let you know. Somehow I was feeling brave, and prepared for whatever. All I know is that I want you to know. I miss you and it's never going to be easy. I love you, and you don't deserve me.

Root of Pain ( November 8, 2012 )

I had another first yesterday. I thought the dentist would fix my month-long aching tooth with a quick pasta. I was so wrong.I ended up surprised, scared and suddenly ready for  my first ever ( and hopefully last ) root canal. I also thought it would hurt. My brother and aunt had it recently and they both shared an equally painful story. Amazingly, I survived it without a single "Ouch". Although I had to slightly pinch myself when the anesthesia was injected right through my gums. That one hurt a bit.

I was told that after the procedure, I shouldn't feel any pain or sting on the operated tooth when I eat or drink cold stuff. So I tried as soon as I got home, and so far, the dentist, who's also my uncle, is right. Good job, Doc. Thank you for getting at the root of my pain, and I'm pretty getting all-wishful that after my tooth, a lot of pain going in me can be fixed, too.

Child Disclipline ( November 7, 2012 )

My little boy just turned two, and I really am not, still, in the light to tell anyone how to raise and discipline a child. I think I am a very bad example. I have so much expectations, but I lack the right efforts. I scold my son too much, too often and regret most of it. I always allow exhaustion and depression get the worst of me. And I can never take back all the moments I felt I am the most terrible mother. I can't be sorry and frustrated forever. I know tomorrow is another chance to become a better person, but I would like to start today. Lord, as always, I seek for Your light and guidance. Please help me become the mother my son deserves.