Greater Responsibilities ( November 10, 2012 )

Being responsible for someone else's life is probably the greatest responsibility there is. That's what I believe and know now. Back in the days when I wasn't a parent yet, I would, most of the times, feel like my responsibilities as an adult were dancing so heavily on my shoulders. I hated having to wake up because I had to work, even if I was feeling lazy or beaten by a hang-over. There were countless days I'd drag myself to work, feeling like I was being punished for the little fun I had on my rest days. Paying bills was more like an endless burden rather than a successful struggle for survival and independence. I always felt sleepless, stressed, spent and mistaken. I used to think that whatever I do, I'd never be responsible enough for myself. Everything was just too much to take, and expectations were never met. Today, my experience are my thoughts, and surprisingly, I say life was so much easier back then.

Hello there motherhood, pleased to meet you single parenthood. I have now fully devoted my time, and energy and all that I am for the love of another life, and there's absolutely no backing out. Every day seems like my first time to become a mother. Every day is a surprise, and a shock. I never thought that the responsibilities I had before will grow a thousand fold today. And this time, it's tougher, crazier, more exhausting, stressful, draining, outpouring..and MORE meaningful. I've never been rewarded so abundantly until I saw the smile of my little man after I feed him, wash him or while we're playing, and the serenity spreading across his face when he sleeps. Yes, I've been definitely called to a greater responsibility and it just keeps on getting harder each day, but I am also provided a greater form of reward- the love I feel for my child, and the love he pours me. Thank You Lord!