Blended Dreams and Frosted Wishes

Tiny glimmering spots, held on my palms
The sun has shone again, its blaze, cold and calm.
Waiting for the night to fall under,
So another yesterday will be over.

I still get the ugly dreams at sleep, and even when I'm awake.

So I get up and pour myself more coffee..
Out of the shivering storm inside me,
And off to the thoughts ever so cloudy..
I sometimes wish you were farther away, from me.

I light up a cig and pretend to breathe weakly
Delaying the heart beat, pushing the thin air far away, from me.
Getting so used to it,
Trying as much to outrun it.

And then I crash, and somehow you are not as felt as before.
This is not the way I wished for.