I can't be as cold as ice, and keep up with the call of silence. My heart can't go hard and numb, and I can't be the person most people would expect me to be, after all the pain I've been put to. It's been crazy tough, but I don't have enough strength to ignore you when you asked about our son. Somehow, I felt obliged to reply. I really don't understand why. Maybe as a parent, I don't want you to worry. You have so much guilt going. I couldn't add more, although half of my brain says you deserve a lot more.
I replied by saying, " Euwy's ok.." Nothing more. You sent me another message. And I finally found the perfect cue to ignore you. I wanted to ask more. I wanted to know more. But silence was like a siren wailing in my head. It screamed of all the hurt and madness. Suddenly I feel cold, and numb and hopeless.
No comments:
Post a Comment