You missed our little boy's first smile. You missed waking up at least three times at night, to feed and calm him, or change his diaper. You didn't get the chance to decide which veggie or fruit to mash the moment he started on solids. You missed holding both his hands as he try to walk for the first time. You didn't see him run and trip, and run again. You missed the messy ice cream and chocolate-eating. You didn't catch his first word, or how he started pouting before bursting to tears. You missed the crazy, sleepless nights trying to make him feel better because he has fever, or he's in discomfort with a bad tummy or clogged nose. You missed the tantrums, the circus of feeding and the drama of putting him to slumber. You missed the beautiful mornings of waking up beside him, and the blissful nights or afternoons just watching him sleep. You missed days and nights, and almost two years of his laughter and tears.
You can never take it back. You can never make it happen again. Clock's ticking and everyday he is changing, growing beautifully, changing my life, too. You missed that. Too bad, you missed that. And whatever you do, or no matter what comes or who you become, you can and will never have it back.
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