I hope it's not happening again. I've been hurt. I am broken. I am sad. I am very,very lonely. And when I'm done with the all the chores, and my son is finally put to sleep, my loneliness grows and I'm suddenly a target of boredom.
When I was younger, when I used to date and party, a night without anything to do becomes an instant invitation to desperation. My friends and I would scan our phone books. We would text our past lovers, new-found friends or anyone we know who's attractive enough to get drunk and crazy with. It was fun, and exciting and dangerous. We were too young to be scared, and be bored. So we tried, and exhausted all our options.
Now that everything has gotten old and messy, I cannot let boredom get the worst out of me. I have to be extra cautious. I am not young anymore. And desperation shouldn't and couldn't be an option. I badly hope so.
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