Pain. Anger. Sadness. They are not unlimited like I always thought they would be. When it seemed like I was having the worst, I felt they were infinite. Now that I can think better, I am starting to feel better.
Eventually, sadness will exhaust the both of us to a point of acceptance. Eventually, we will run out of excuses and apologies and all that's left will be goodbye. Someday, we will both understand. Maybe not at the same time or gravity, but we will. We will stop blaming ourselves and begin to move on.
But right at this moment, while I am broken, I am broken. While there is pain, I will feel pain. No one can tell me to just shut off my sadness, or to rush my suffering to end. I will linger when I can and stop when I can't.
Maybe you are right, that because of the choices we make, we might be hardened by the passing of time and we might never be the same again. And maybe, when I am ready, you will no longer be. Yes, I will be broken and sad again.. But life must still go on.
We don't have unlimited chances to start over.. so I'm taking this one now.
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