Seriously, it just hit me..that ten years ago, I was nineteen years old. I was bidding farewell to my teen years and looking forward to twenties with a huge heartbeat. I was nineteen - oldest of the teens and a breath away from being a young adult. I suddenly craved for memories a decade old.
My body was almost perfect. My skin was smooth and radiant. I could wear anything and not care. I was young and bold. I was at my strongest, and bravest. I wasn't so innocent but I was impeccably curious. I had all the time to desire and all the desire of my time. I was very eager but not too serious. I was scared but I was willing. I was dreamy and hopeful. I believed and accepted. It wasn't the easiest year, but it was fun falling, breaking bones and recuperating. I was nineteen - I felt and knew I could be anything.
What I missed and would really want to remember about being nineteen was how I loved and fell, and fell and loved again. I want to remember how I took the courage to tell someone I like him, and how my nerve fought back and won, and just how every little thing he did was, cute and magical..and everything made crazy sense. I miss the feeling of stuttering, of convenient shyness and mad heart thumping. I miss the kind of reckless falling, wishing but not expecting, wanting and not getting. I miss the fearless loving and losing at nineteen.
That was a decade ago. I'm thankful to be given a chance, and a time to be nineteen..and be so good at it. I just wish I can still be like that, after all these years. For now, I'll just be happy to remember.
No comments:
Post a Comment