Love,
There is so much pain and wrath trapped in my heart. Loving you has been so beautiful and rough. Our love was a circus of emotions, a journey we were both dragged into and misplaced so untimely. We've made bad decisions, fought on our own and chosen to lose. We've cried and blamed and suffered. Love couldn't heal us. But forgiveness, hopefully, will.
I forgive you. I forgive the love I thought I had. I forgive the time we never had. I forgive the chance we only hope we had. I forgive the us we couldn't have.
Although I cannot free you from all the pain, guilt or regret, I am allowing you to heal and move forward. I am also saving myself from all the wasted time and energy lost in being lonely and angry. We can't be depressed for the rest of our lives. There's just so much to live for. And our son is first on my list. You have your reasons, too.
I forgive you, and I forgive myself. It's something you also have to do. We've learned so much from too many ugly lies and truths we couldn't accept. It's time we decide to become better persons, and parents.
I am forgiving you. I love you as much as I hate you, and although I am not ready to see you go, I will let you go. I am not soliciting for love. I am not taking you back. I am not pushing you away. I am telling you this because I don't want to say goodbye with a lie. In time I will accept how things are and why we've gone this far.
For now, let me just forgive you. Let me let you go. Let me say goodbye and I love you so.
I cannot live forever with a heavy heart. Yes, I've been broken, but in God's perfect time, i will be fixed. That goes for you, too.
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