One of the best kind of negative results is knowing that your little boy is out of danger. We had him checked today and we were advised to have his cbc and dengue screening done. Thank heavens results were negative. He just needs more rest. I'm also praying for the crazy fever to go away, or we will have to see the doctor on Monday again. I do not like that.
Today, after almost five months, Euwy saw his Daddy. He was a bit late for the check up, but at least I got him to accompany me during the laboratory tests. I also made him wait for the results because Euwy and I needed to go home.
Euwy cried hysterically upon seeing his "Dadah" after a long time. He sounded scared. He's probably familiar with his father, but maybe in an uneasy and doubtful way. Or maybe my little boy feels what I felt. He cried out loud what I've been crying inside. It took him half an hour before smiling back and finally feeling safe. I told my little boy to kiss and hug his father. I just suddenly felt responsible for that gesture. I didn't feel like being rude, and complicated. I was at my best, I guess.
When I saw my son's father today, I realized that I am no longer drowning in pain. I also felt void of desire, and wanting. I wasn't nervous and ecstatic. I was very calm, and easy. I've been really a bit better. And again, I hope this state will go on, and on until it's time to just laugh about it.
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